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Summary of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work 

4.7 . 11596 reviews

Short summary

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work aims to help everyday couples through the rigors and challenges of marriage. The goal is to give them the chance to experience a much more fulfilling and meaningful relationship. John Gottman, Ph.D., is an American author, keynote speaker, and relationship expert. Dr. Gottman is well known across the globe for his extensive work in psychology and intimate relationships. Nan Silver is a journalist, author, and editor with expertise in human psychology, parenting, and relationships. She has also partnered with Dr. Gottman to write Makes Love Last? The central theme of this summary is that marriages would become stable over time if couples learned to reconcile successfully after a fight. If more couples understood that communication was vital to fixing conflicts and learned to communicate well, we would indeed have fewer divorce cases in court. “Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse.” ~ John M. Gottman, Ph.D.

Table of content

  • Summary of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
  • About the author
  • What is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work about?
  • Who should read The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
  • Topics in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
first key point

Marriage is a construct created to promote the health and stability of society

Listen the first key point
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Marriages are often plagued with a multitude of conflicts that can accumulate and result in a divorce. Dr. John Gottman offers readers of this summary a great fix and a sure way out of these conflicts. Marriage should be a thing of bliss, and it can be, as we will learn in the following chapters of this summary.
Conflicts are unavoidable in marriage and relationships, but you can find common ground by talking through your disagreements.
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a culturally recognized union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, their children, and their in-laws.

Marriage is a legally binding relationship; it’s a socially sanctioned union regulated by law, rules, customs, beliefs. Society gets its stability from marriages. Good marriages often produce better individuals and a better society. The reverse is also true. Marriages also reflect the individual identities of those involved and thrive on them finding a balance between the two varying identities.
Marriages aren't perfect and will face conflicts. The best fix for this is an honest and positive action.
A good marriage is one where both parties can manage their egos and are always willing to make positive compromises for the relationship to grow. Most unions face challenges. The key to getting past those challenges is direct and positive action backed up with open conversations.
second key point

What makes a marriage work?

Through decades of research and experience, Dr. John Gottman can finally answer the burning question — why do some marriages fail while others flourish?
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third key point

Asking profound questions is key to learning more about your partner and reducing conflicts

fourth key point

Regardless of how sour things may have gotten, a relationship can be salvaged

fifth key point

When issues arise, you should pull closer and not away from each other

sixth key point

When you take advice from your partner, your bond grows

seventh key point

When crises arise, take practical and conscious steps to fix them

eighth key point

Find a way around tricky situations by meeting each other halfway

ninth key point

It is important to reconnect with your partner using bonding activities that have shared meaning

tenth key point

Conclusion

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What is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work about?

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