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Summary of Out of the Shadows 

What’s inside

Discover the destructive nature of sexual addiction hidden in seemingly ordinary and socially accepted habits to prevent or overcome its effects on your life and happiness.

You’ll learn

  • The phases of addiction
  • How family affects a person’s sexual behavior
  • What are co-addictive relationships
  • How culture shapes sexual stereotypes
  • Crucial steps to overcome an addiction

Table of content

  • Summary of Out of the Shadows
  • About the author
  • What is Out of the Shadows about?
  • Who should read Out of the Shadows
  • Topics in Out of the Shadows
first key point

Defining the addiction

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Addiction is an unhealthy interaction of an individual with mood-altering stimuli. It’s possible to misunderstand the scope of this concept and assume that it just covers instances of substance dependence, like alcohol, nicotine, drugs, etc. However, it is vital to note that sex is also one of these triggers since the chemical and hormonal surges that occur during it are comparable to the effects of drugs. Hence, sex may be addictive, and this addiction can destroy human life.
Research evidence shows that most addicts develop a couple of addictions at once. For instance, around 42 percent of sex addicts are reported to have chemical dependencies, and 38 percent suffer from eating disorders.
No matter what the addiction is about, the course of events always follows the same pattern. The need for a stimulant that alters one’s state of mind starts to dominate the addict’s life and becomes their primary focus putting everything else on the back burner. Thus a person develops a double life: routine daily existence, and the secret one, in which they indulge their addiction. At the crossroads of these two lives, a person loses their identity. However, it is complicated to maintain two lives that are so drastically different; hence the secret existence eventually comes to threaten and ruin regular life.

Sexual addiction grows out of four negative core beliefs that poison a person’s self-perception and foster the development of unhealthy behavior.

• “I am a bad, unworthy person.”
• “No one would love me as I am.”
• “My needs will never be met if I depend upon others.”
• “Sex is my most important need.”

In this summary, we will dig deep into the essence of sexual addiction and discover answers to such questions as:

• What triggers the addiction?
• Where do the above-mentioned core beliefs come from, and what is the family’s role in forming them?
• How many levels of addiction are there, and how do they vary?
• What is the phenomenon of co-addiction?
• How can you reclaim your freedom?
While our society is shifting to a more open attitude toward sexual expression, we still view the amount and kind of activity as a matter of personal choice. For the addict, however, there is no choice. ~ Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
second key point

In a whirlpool of addiction

All sexual addicts follow a four-step cycle that becomes more intense with each subsequent occurrence.
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third key point

Levels of addiction and their corollaries

fourth key point

Family illness

fifth key point

Phenomenon of co-addiction

sixth key point

Sexual ills of our beliefs

seventh key point

Liberate yourself from addiction

eighth key point

Conclusion

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What is Out of the Shadows about?

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Do you find yourself staring at your computer for long minutes, unaware of time slipping by? Do you enter a room and suddenly cannot remember why you stepped in the first place? Is it a herculean task for you to sit through ten pages of a book without reaching for your phone? If yes, your focus needs some work and fast.

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