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Bob Goff is the author of three New York Times bestsellers on love as the way to personal liberation and fulfillment. He is also an attorney and founder of a nonprofit human rights organization fully operational in five developing countries.
In this piece, he teaches you the life lessons he learned the hard way about living without fear, constraint, or worry. And the secret to this kind of life, as he emphasizes, is loving everyone without limits or distinctions. This is a simple and hard thing for all of us to do, but Bob simplifies the love walk in this mind-blowing bestseller.
“Love isn’t something we fall into; love is someone we become.” ~ Bob Goff
Key points
1
Love is the strongest force in the entire universe
There’s nothing as strong and pure as genuine love. It emits passion that has a way of keeping us alive.
Everyone needs love, irrespective of age, social class, skin color or any other means of classifying humans.
Children who grow up without love almost always become problems to the society, but studies show that those who are nurtured under the love and care of their parents will almost certainly grow to become valuable and respectful citizens of the world.
Adults need love too. Employees function best when they work in an atmosphere of love. Time and time again, it has been proven that couples who live happily tend to be more productive than those in emotionally abusive relationships. Point is, we all need love. And it’s very easy to give love to people around us who “deserve” to be loved. You know, those kind, loving people who seem to appreciate every single thing you do for them. But how about loving a hardened criminal who robbed your house when you were 12 and raped your mum? What would you do if you found that, 15 years later, the criminal was caught?
Now that’s a tough one.
Let’s not even go to that extreme. It’s hard to love people who we don’t understand, especially people who don’t appreciate our actions. But Jesus said to love everyone, including our enemies.
If you’re going to focus on the things people do, then you will only love those who love you. But that’s not the command. According to Jesus, his true followers are those who, like him, love even the people who seem unlovable.
If we’re honest, this isn’t something any of us can do naturally. However, you can start small. Love isn’t something we fall into, it’s something we become. So, start small by showing a little kindness to people you ordinarily wouldn’t show love to. The more you do it, the more you get used to it.
Adults need love too. Employees function best when they work in an atmosphere of love. Time and time again, it has been proven that couples who live happily tend to be more productive than those in emotionally abusive relationships. Point is, we all need love. And it’s very easy to give love to people around us who “deserve” to be loved. You know, those kind, loving people who seem to appreciate every single thing you do for them. But how about loving a hardened criminal who robbed your house when you were 12 and raped your mum? What would you do if you found that, 15 years later, the criminal was caught?
Now that’s a tough one.
Let’s not even go to that extreme. It’s hard to love people who we don’t understand, especially people who don’t appreciate our actions. But Jesus said to love everyone, including our enemies.
If you’re going to focus on the things people do, then you will only love those who love you. But that’s not the command. According to Jesus, his true followers are those who, like him, love even the people who seem unlovable.
If we’re honest, this isn’t something any of us can do naturally. However, you can start small. Love isn’t something we fall into, it’s something we become. So, start small by showing a little kindness to people you ordinarily wouldn’t show love to. The more you do it, the more you get used to it.
Love and affection may not solve all our problems, but they provide us the inner strength to keep pushing.
Love is so powerful it can bring life to dead situations. A story shared by Bob Goff illustrates this very well. His next door neighbor of many years told him on the phone one day that she had been diagnosed with cancer. The depression and pain in her voice was obvious. Bob knew how hard it would be for a widow to fight cancer, so he decided to show her deeper love and affection because that was exactly what her spirit needed at the time.
He drove to the store and got them a pair of walkie-talkies, fixed one to her bed, and the other one to his own house. They spoke over the device regularly like 9 years olds. This greatly helped his neighbor, Carol, in her long fight with cancer. It dissipated the initial fears she had and gave her the inner strength to fight. Love is powerful!
For the rest of this summary, we will delve deeper into the potency of this great emotion and how you can practice loving everyone, always.
He drove to the store and got them a pair of walkie-talkies, fixed one to her bed, and the other one to his own house. They spoke over the device regularly like 9 years olds. This greatly helped his neighbor, Carol, in her long fight with cancer. It dissipated the initial fears she had and gave her the inner strength to fight. Love is powerful!
For the rest of this summary, we will delve deeper into the potency of this great emotion and how you can practice loving everyone, always.
2
Don’t allow shame to ruin your relationships. Forgive yourself and move on
It’s impossible to not make mistakes in our relationships with others. We will all mess up at some points in our relationships, particularly if the people are closest to our heart. Have you found that we tend to hurt and be hurt most by the people we love the most?
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3
Drop preconceived opinions and let love flow from your heart
4
Start from where you are, with what you have
5
People who are becoming love have a way of finding the best in everyone
6
