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HappinessWant to make him miss you so that he seeks out your company, remembers every conversation, and thinks about you even at the most unexpected moments? Or do you dream that after the breakup, your ex will think about you for a long time, compare everyone with you, and realize that you were not just "another" one but the only one?
Did you know we even have 'The Breakup Bible' by Rachel A. Sussman, where she goes into how a breakup is a new beginning and a search for yourself? In the Headway app, you can find many intriguing things about the psychology of relationships.
Keeping your boyfriend's thoughts of you alive can deepen his feelings and strengthen your bond. Here are some excellent strategies for helping your boyfriend miss you!
The seven relationship advice to make him miss you
Why absence makes the heart grow fonder
It's easy to get stuck in a relationship rut. You may still love each other the same way you did before, but the spark and excitement can fade. The best gift you can offer your partner is to give them a chance to miss you.
A little time apart makes you realize how much you love your significant other.
Spending time apart makes you realize that life is better with your loved one. There's nothing worse than spending time together all the time. Then you start to notice even the smallest bad habits in your partners, and they annoy you.
However, Amir Levine in 'Attached' studies attachment and concludes that a genuine connection is not created through games or when you are avoidant, but through emotional openness, responsibility, and a willingness to be there. Although short-term distance can sometimes remind you of your partner's value, Levine does not recommend deliberately creating it as a tool of influence.
The Journal of Communication found that people in long-distance relationships report greater intimacy, deeper self-disclosure, and idealization of their partner, which creates a stronger bond. However, there is also strong emotional discomfort without physical presence, especially in moments of loneliness.
The seven secrets to make a man miss you
Examine the advice from renowned books written by experts in personal relationships.
Secret 1: Respect his space
"Each person must be allowed to have their own life and their own way of dealing with problems." — John Gray, 'Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus'
In Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, relationship expert John Gray emphasizes that one of men's primary needs is space. He calls this process "going into the cave" — a natural way for a man to regain emotional balance.
Women often perceive this as indifference, but it's a way to regain strength and return even closer and more attentive. When a woman respects this space, a man feels trust and acceptance, strengthening the relationship.
The sentimental, sensual component of relationships is essential not only for women but also for men. They become attached to those women who accept, understand, and listen to them. Be the one who will be an indispensable source of comfort and closeness.
The more a man trusts you with his secrets, the more precious you are to him. If this barrier is passed, then closeness becomes a necessity.
Secret 2: Be unforgettable in the moments you share
In 'The Five Love Languages,' relationship coach Gary Chapman writes that each person has a language — a way of showing others that they love them. There are five languages in total. People usually have one dominant one, but some have several love languages simultaneously.
Gift-giving and thoughtful surprises
Words of affirmation and verbal appreciation
Physical touch and affection
Acts of service and helpful actions
Quality time — focused attention without distractions
"A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity… Togetherness has to do with focused attention." — Gary Chapman, 'The Five Love Languages'
If you spend time together unforgettably, he'll want to repeat it. In addition, during separation, you can send small "hooks" in the form of pleasant messages hinting at the next meeting or beautiful selfies. Such techniques will awaken impatience in him.
A base of pleasant moments spent together is a must for a relationship. Let your man smile when he thinks of you and remembers the positive moments you give him.
Introduce traditions, like joint breakfasts, evening walks, and movie nights. Show genuine interest in your man and his world; he'll naturally want to share his free time with you.
Create emotional experiences through surprise dates, weekend adventures, and romantic gestures.
Support his goals and dreams and become his biggest cheerleader. Aim to establish a strong emotional connection.
How to become the most desirable — to be an integral part of his life.
Secret 3: Leave room for mystery
"The moment you allow yourself to be completely known, you lose your seductive power." — Robert Greene, 'The Art of Seduction'
Robert Green explains that transparency kills attraction. In contrast, mystery creates inner tension, awakens fantasies, and forces a person to think, dream, and feel.
Maintain intrigue in your relationship by making small pauses — a subtle no-contact moment that builds anticipation for the next time you connect. Add surprises to keep the spark alive. Guys shouldn't be the only ones experimenting and arranging romantic dates. Show yourself and your inner leader to become the most desirable for him.
Diversify intimacy by trying new things and being open to experiments. Everything gets boring at some point, so don't be afraid of something new in a relationship. This is one of the stages before becoming the most desirable for your man.
Embrace the quiet pauses and let him feel a slight lack of you. A woman shouldn't be overly involved in a relationship since it can inhibit communication and spoil your attempts to be desired.
Keep your distance. Don't confuse distance with indifference. You have a life together and a personal life. Live for both of them.
Secret 4: Communicate with purpose
In 'Stop Checking Your Likes, Susie Moore emphasizes that self-esteem shouldn't depend on likes, other people's opinions, or constant validation. In relationships, avoid being clingy, try not to send unnecessary text messages, don't wait for reactions, and don't demand attention — maintain inner confidence.
To make a man miss you, don't impose on him; don't try to fill his entire life with your presence. You both should have your own lives. Outside of that, be his inspiration, support his interests, communicate and write when necessary, and always leave room for the desire to talk more.
It's okay to be silent and not make yourself known. Believe me, if a man is interested in you, he will not forget about you. On the contrary, he will count the hours until your next meeting. After all, you must admit, it's tough to miss someone if someone is constantly in sight.
People who don't feel valued internally seek external validation: "Am I important to someone?" This is typical for the anxious type of attachment (see the book 'Attached'). Therefore, it is better to work on your mental health than to seek attention from outside.
"Requests are received as demands when listeners believe they will be blamed or punished if they do not comply." — Marshall B. Rosenberg, 'Nonviolent Communication'
Secret 5: Trigger the senses
On a first date, smells and tastes can make or break a first impression. Aim to choose perfumes with a pleasant but not too intense scent. Food and drinks that do not overwhelm the taste buds will also help create a comfortable atmosphere and facilitate relaxed conversation.
Use scent, music, and voice notes. Smells uniquely connect people to the past, as powerful triggers for memories and emotions. This phenomenon occurs because of the close connection between our sense of smell and the brain's memory centers. Unlike other sensory experiences, smells can instantly evoke vivid, emotional memories.
Choose your unique perfume that will be associated only with you. Сhoose your scent from the sweet palette (сinnamon, chocolate, and vanilla) for a romantic mood.
Secret 6: Radiate confidence and growth
"Confidence without warmth feels arrogant. Warmth without confidence feels weak. True charisma requires both." — Olivia Fox Cabane, 'The Charisma Myth'
The core message of Olivia Fox Cabane's 'The Charisma Myth' is that charisma is a skill anyone can develop. It consists of strength, warmth, and presence. When combined correctly, these three ingredients create a powerful energy that attracts others. Olivia proves that you can develop these qualities, even if you are shy, introverted, or self-doubtful.
Those who are confident in themselves and don't need constant confirmation of their value become desirable. Thus, girls who value and love themselves may not even think about how they can remain desirable.
How do I develop confidence?
Work on self-esteem: Praise yourself for your achievements, and do not compare yourself with others.
Do what you love: Hobbies, work, self-care, and creativity — all this is the pleasure of life.
Remember personal growth: Read books (or use the Headway app to explore summaries and main ideas of bestsellers), learn new things, and be versatile.
Secret 7: Be authentic, not manipulative
Manipulation involves using psychological influence to sway someone for personal gain, and it comes in many forms. Think of relationships like a fun strategic game where each player selects the best approach to connect and collaborate effectively.
Undeniably, manipulating and playing mind games with a partner is unhealthy behavior that destroys trust, emotional connection, and true intimacy.
"A woman's sexuality depends on her authenticity and self‑nurturance…" – Esther Perel, 'The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity'
Belgian psychotherapist Esther Perel writes excellent books about the dynamics of desire, attraction, and fading passion between partners from many different life circumstances. She often talks about the tension people feel in relationships, which results from a conflict between two opposing directions of their needs: on the one hand, they need security, confidence, and trust.
On the other hand, they need adventure, discovery, and the unknown. Safety and trust create intimacy, while adventure and the unknown create passion.
Men appreciate women with whom they are easy and comfortable. Emotional stability is a massive plus in a relationship. But how can you avoid unnecessary conflicts? Talk about your feelings directly and without accusations. Learn to listen and understand his emotions. Avoid manipulation, scenes of jealousy, and excessive control.
From spark to habit: Can you stay unforgettable long-term?
Try out some activities that help you find the perfect balance between closeness and personal space:
Don't initiate texting for 2 days
Let him get bored and make his move
Get off social media for 48 hours
Create a sense of absence that provokes nostalgia
Share the news, but don't go into all the details
Keep the conversation interesting, leave an open end for further dialogue
Take the attachment style test found in 'Attached' by Dr. Levine
Find out if you're more anxious, avoidant, or secure in relationships
Practice active listening (mirroring and empathy)
"You say you feel... That means you want..."
Insert a "Sunday night to connect" tradition
Discuss feelings, plans, and gratitude with a cup of tea or a walk
Listen to podcasts like"Where Should We Begin?" by Esther Perel (or listen to book summaries of her books in the Headway app)
Real-life couples therapy sessions are very educational
Use the Headway app to build a knowledge base about healthy relationship habits and self-improvement
"Thus the key to happiness lies not in changing our genetic makeup… or in changing our circumstances… but in our daily intentional activities." — Sonja Lyubomirsky, 'The How of Happiness'
The ability to trust, build relationships, and live your life the way you want is not given to you by default — you must learn how to do it. While we inherit relationship patterns from our culture and family, discovering your own authentic approach is what matters most.
Explore love, dating, and emotional intelligence through expert book summaries with the Headway app
No matter where you are in your relationship, whether you are just starting, have been with your partner for a long time, or are separated, Headway has a good selection of bestsellers and a wealth of knowledge on how to grow in building and developing your relationship with your partner. Check out the following texts and get more on dating advice and love life in the Headway library:
'The Charisma Myth' by Olivia Fox Cabane explains how you can train behavior, thinking, and emotional control
'Relationship Goals' by Michael Todd teaches you the right attitude towards dating, loneliness, marriage, and sexuality.
Bell Hooks's 'All About Love' argues that love is not just a feeling but also an action and a choice that demands responsibility, trust, honesty, and care.
'Get the Guy' by Matthew Hussey is a practical guide for women that helps them not just "win a man," but also understand male psychology and build healthy relationships from a position of confidence and self-esteem.
The convenient microlearning format will allow you to gain the most valuable insights from books in 15 minutes. Download and develop every day.
Frequetly Asked Questions about making him miss you
How often should I text him?
Texting too often can make him take your attention for granted or even get annoyed. If he responds slowly or infrequently, you might be sending too many messages, or they might not be engaging. Ask questions and share interesting news. In general, it's better to prioritize the quality of messages over quantity.
Can being too available make him lose interest?
Yes, being too available may cause your partner to lose interest. Too much contact, constant presence, and no personal space can make a relationship feel less special. When everything becomes predictable and available, mystery and desire fade. People need personal space and time to feel a passion for another.
What makes a man miss someone?
Don't rush to call or text him whenever you feel like it. Create pleasant memories, be a supportive, interesting, independent person, and he will miss you and look forward to when you meet. Allow him the space to feel your absence—it's within that space that desire naturally grows.
Are deep conversations better than small talk?
Yes, because relationships involve more than just joyful moments; they involve getting to know each other more deeply. To truly get to know your partner, go beyond everyday conversations about work, the weather, or everyday affairs. Even in the closest relationships, there are unexplored depths. Ask those questions that touch on inner fears and unspoken desires to reveal new facets of your partner's personality.
What's a "signature" and how does it help?
A "signature" in a relationship is an element that subconsciously evokes memories of you. It can be a special scent (perfume), a phrase, a communication style, a clothing style, or even a small gesture. These subtle cues leave emotional imprints that make your presence last, even in your absence.
