I’ve been to burnout and back, and along the way, I learned a lot about how to recover and ensure it never happens again. Hi, I'm Wendy McCallum, a Burnout and Alcohol Coach specializing in helping professionals reclaim their energy, purpose, and joy.
I spent the first 12 years of my professional life as a lawyer and eventually a partner at a large law firm. I was also a wife and a mom to two young children, just seven months apart. Like so many high-achieving professionals, I constantly struggled to find that elusive "work-life balance."
I was always stressed. At work, I worried about my kids and how my long hours might be affecting them. At home, I felt guilty about falling behind at the office. My mind was constantly racing, and I even kept a notepad beside my bed to jot down client-related notes during sleepless nights.
I ate lunch at my desk, fueled myself with Diet Coke and coffee to stay awake, and used red wine to wind down in the evenings. Self-care wasn’t a priority—work and family always came first. I was "doing it all"—but none of it particularly well. And eventually, I burned out.
Burnout took a toll on my health, my relationships, and my happiness. I became dependent on unhealthy coping mechanisms, lost my sense of purpose, and felt completely depleted. After much soul-searching, I made the difficult decision to leave my legal career and start fresh.
Now, as a coach and wellness expert, I help busy professionals avoid the mistakes I made and create lives they don’t need to escape from. I speak from experience with honesty and empathy, offering guidance to those who feel stuck in the cycle of chronic stress and burnout.
“The cure for burnout is not “self-care”; it is all of us caring for one another. So we’ll say it one more time: Trust your body. Be kind to yourself. You are enough, just as you are right now. Your joy matters. Please tell everyone you know.”― Emily Nagoski, 'Burnout'
What is burnout?
Burnout is best defined as unmitigated chronic stress — stress that has been allowed to go unchecked for an extended period. Many people associate burnout solely with job-related stress, but in my experience, just one thing rarely causes burnout.
The World Health Organization (WHO) has classified burnout as an “occupational phenomenon,” but, in my opinion, that definition oversimplifies the issue for most exhausted people. Stress is stress, whether it’s emotional, mental, or physical, and whether it stems from work, caregiving responsibilities, an unhealthy relationship, financial problems, or destructive coping mechanisms.
When stress pushes our bodies into a prolonged fight-or-flight response, stress hormones surge. Chronically high levels of cortisol — a key stress hormone — lead to exhaustion, overwhelm, and eventually, burnout.
The best way to look at burnout is as “death by a thousand paper cuts.” It’s rarely one major event that causes burnout; it’s the slow, relentless accumulation of responsibilities, expectations, and exhaustion in a culture that prioritizes productivity over well-being.
The three types of burnout
Burnout isn’t one-size-fits-all. It typically falls into three categories (and overlap regularly happens):
1. Mental burnout
This type happens when your brain is constantly overloaded. Signs include:
Difficulty concentrating
Forgetfulness
Decision fatigue
Feeling mentally drained after routine tasks
Trouble finding motivation for work or daily activities
2. Physical burnout
This kind occurs when chronic stress takes a toll on your body. Symptoms can include:
Chronic fatigue
Frequent headaches
Muscle tension or aches
Digestive issues
Weakened immune system (frequent colds or illnesses)
3. Emotional burnout
Emotional exhaustion leads to feelings of detachment and apathy. Signs can include:
Increased irritability or frustration
Feeling emotionally numb
Loss of enjoyment in activities
Decreased empathy for others
Frequent mood swings
Common signs of burnout
Burnout also doesn’t happen overnight — it creeps up gradually. Some of the most common warning signs can include:
Chronic exhaustion: mental, physical, and emotional fatigue
A cynical, glass-half-empty mindset: “I used to be positive and hopeful, and now I just feel negative.”
“Constantly scanning the world for the negative comes with a great cost. It undercuts our creativity, raises our stress levels, and lowers our motivation and ability to accomplish goals.” ― Shawn Achor, 'The Happiness Advantage'
3 Decreased work performance and productivity
4 Trouble concentrating or making decisions
5 Obsessing over work even when you're not there
6 Neglecting self-care: poor diet, lack of exercise, disrupted sleep
7 Relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms: alcohol, junk food, social media
8 Increased tension in relationships: anger, withdrawal, or avoidance
9 Feeling disconnected from your own life: “Everything looks fine on paper, but I’m just not happy.”
10 Long-term health changes: weight gain, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, depression, anxiety, and increased risk of Type II diabetes and heart disease.
Always consult a medical professional if you are experiencing any physical or health changes!
If any of these resonate, you may be on the path to burnout. The good news? There are ways to stop burnout in its tracks and regain control.
13 strategies for burnout prevention and recovery
If burnout is "death by a thousand paper cuts," recovery requires "a thousand bite-sized bandages." A week off or a short vacation isn’t enough — true recovery involves lifestyle shifts, mindset work, and sustainable strategies.
Burnout recovery requires us to do three things:
Slow down and do less to create more free time.
Reduce stress where you can with mindfulness and boundaries.
Incorporate more activities to help you close the stress cycle.
These sound simple but can be challenging, especially when you have deeply ingrained mindsets, habits, and patterns that are feeding your burnout.
Here’s how to start:
1. Try different, not harder
Let go of the idea that work-life balance looks the same for everyone. Create a balance that fits your unique life, not an idealized version of it. Stop trying to "push through" or "just work harder." If your current work-life balance model hasn’t worked, it’s time to try something new. Change your approach instead of doubling down on old habits.
Give yourself time to make changes slowly. Work on stacking one minor positive change on another over the next six to twelve months. It probably took you years (maybe even decades!) to get here — so it’s not going to be a quick fix. The sooner you accept and embrace that, the sooner you’ll be on the path to recovery.
2. Embrace experiment mode
Instead of rigidly trying to "fix" yourself, get curious. Try something and see how it feels. Observe what works and what doesn’t. If you planned to go to the gym before work and you only went once last week, what got in the way? Maybe you were too tired, or your kids needed you to help with homework. If that’s the case, try going at lunchtime or after work next week. Tweak things and see how that goes.
Design a personalized set of habits that work with your real life. Burnout recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all.
3. Set realistic goals
Avoid overwhelming yourself with drastic changes. Small, manageable shifts lead to sustainable progress. If you aim too high too soon, you’ll burn out trying to get there. I encourage my clients to set a goal that feels achievable but also a bit challenging. That’s a great place to start. Once you’ve got that new habit down, challenge yourself a little more.
4. Build new habits slowly
Stack one small change on top of another rather than overhauling your life overnight. Progress compounds over time. It takes 60+ days to form a new habit, which is why those extreme quick-fix solutions never work. Ditch the 21-day juice cleanse for an extra serving of veggies a day. Start with a couple of visits to the gym a week or a walk at lunchtime most days instead of making the goal to get to the weight room 30 days in a row.
5. Let go of perfectionism
“Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.” ― Brené Brown, 'The Gifts of Imperfection'
Trying to do everything perfectly is a fast track to burnout. Learn to accept "good enough." I always remind my clients that “some is better than none” when it comes to healthy habits. Celebrate all your changes, no matter how small! Keep track of little wins in a journal or notebook. If it feels good, you’ll keep doing it. If it feels too hard, you won’t.
6. Learn to say No
Create a go-to script for declining additional responsibilities, such as:
"I’d love to help, but my plate is full right now.”
"I’d love to help, but I’ve promised my kids more time with them."
"That sounds great, but I need to check my schedule before committing."
If saying “no” feels too hard right now, start with “not saying yes” on the spot. That might mean saying, “Can I get back to you?” or just “Maybe.” It gets easier the more you practice, I promise!
“Here’s my point: the solution to an overbusy life is not more time. It’s to slow down and simplify our lives around what really matters.”― John Mark Comer, 'The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry'
7. Use proactive scheduling
Five to seven days before a new week starts, review your calendar. If the upcoming week looks overwhelming, intentionally apply the 4 Ds: Delete, Delegate, Defer, or Do.
Important note: Doing this the week before is a lot easier. Canceling or delegating something at the last minute can feel rude and more stressful. But if you do it early enough, you can back out gracefully and delegate effectively with clear instructions and support.
Delete: What can you graciously cancel or excuse yourself from?
Delegate: What tasks can you pass on to a co-worker with more time? Are there any chores or caregiving responsibilities your spouse could assume? Can your kids take on a little more responsibility?
Defer: Are there tasks you can de-prioritize and bump to a future week? (Hint: If it’s been on your to-do list for over a month, it’s probably not as important as you think.)
Do: What are the things you must do? Tackle those tasks when you have the most energy, focus, and willpower, which is the first thing in the morning for most of us.
8. Don’t sweat the small stuff
Even minor stressors contribute to burnout. Identify the small things that drain your energy and brainstorm ways to manage them differently. Pay attention to when you feel your cortisol rising (traffic, grocery store lines, annoying co-workers, and uncooperative technology are all common culprits!) Could you choose to care a little less? Try taking five deep breaths before you respond to the trigger. Simple breathing exercises activate the body’s relaxation response, bringing cortisol levels back down. Consider breathwork your stress-busting superpower.
9. Prioritize self-care (daily!)
Self-care isn’t selfish. The simple truth is if you’re not taking care of yourself, you eventually will not be able to take care of others. That’s burnout! But if that’s not enough to motivate you, here’s another point that helps motivate my clients to prioritize time for themselves: If you’re not taking care of yourself, what are you role modeling as a leader or parent?
Aim for at least two small self-care activities daily — a short walk, five minutes of deep breathing, or a quiet cup of coffee before the rest of your family gets up.
10. Close the stress cycle
Stress accumulates when we don’t release it. The first part of the stress cycle is “fight or flight,” which is when cortisol levels rise. To combat burnout, we want to move ourselves into the second part, the relaxation response or “rest and digest” sooner and more often. Activities like exercise, laughter, social connection, or creative outlets help "close the loop."
Another approach is to consider activities you would never engage in if a bear were chasing you. Chances are, those are the types of things that would help bring your cortisol down. For example, I would never set up my easel and paint, put on a fun song and dance, or sit down on a rock to read if a bear was chasing me, would you?
11. Build a support system
One of the signs of burnout is disconnection or social isolation, which many of my clients refer to as “turtle-ing.” They avoid social activities because those activities start to feel hard and exhausting. A key piece of burnout recovery is re-establishing meaningful connections in your life. Start small; you don’t need to host a 5-course dinner party right out of the gate! Invite a close friend to join you on a walk or a family member to watch the game with you this weekend. As with everything else, it needs to feel doable so that you will follow through with it.
You don’t have to do this alone. Lean on friends, family, colleagues, or a coach for support.
12. Reconnect with joy
Make time for hobbies and activities that genuinely make you happy. Joy is a powerful antidote to burnout. This one is tough for many of my clients, who have no idea what makes them feel good because it’s been so long since they’ve had fun. When that’s the case, I suggest they remember the last time they felt joyful, which might be before they took the job, had kids, or even something back in their childhood. What brought them joy then? What activities or hobbies did they love?
13. Practice gratitude
Start a daily gratitude journal. Writing down three things you’re grateful for each day shifts your focus from stress to appreciation. It also trains your brain to spend more time in the present moment — which means it spends less time in the future, anxiously worrying about how things will turn out!
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” ― Eckhart Tolle, 'The Power of Now'
Final Thoughts: Prevent Burnout and Find Balance with Headway
Burnout isn’t a badge of honor—it’s a warning sign. You don’t have to sacrifice your well-being to achieve your goals. With the right strategies, you can build a fulfilling, sustainable life without exhaustion.
Take the first step toward balance—download the Headway app to read book summaries that will help you prevent burnout and build a healthier, more fulfilling life.
